Awareness - How finding safety is the key to managing Stress.
Gavin Money • October 17, 2024
Finding Safety in Calmness
The starting point for growth and taking the path out of being stuck in a life of stress, frustration and anxiety is self-awareness. It may seem like the last thing you want to do, but taking a step back and finding space is the tried and tested way to move forwards. Rather than chasing after the things we think will make us happy, it’s time to look inwards and notice what we really need.
Q:
So what do we really need?
A:
To feel safe.
Every human is hard wired to survive and connect with others. Survival is our most powerful instinct and this is managed through our Autonomic Nervous System. If we feel unsafe or threatened our fight or flight survival response is triggered though the Sympathetic Nervous System, and stress hormones are released into our body. This provides us with the immediate resources to get out of danger.
Once the danger has gone, we can head back to the calm place where we feel safe and connected (Ventral Vagus System). It is normal to experience and move between these two states, strong resilience is built upon our ability to readily return to a calm state when there is no longer a threat.
However, if a threat remains or as is more likely in our current world, we think it does, then we stay in this state of alert. This often becomes chronic stress and we remain this way until the body moves into the freeze response (Dorsal Vagal System) to preserve its remaining resources. It’s here that we often feel stuck, shut down emotionally, or fatigued.
This is where developing your awareness comes in; what if you were able to notice these states and learn to take the path back to safety each time?
Here’s a quick recap……
The Calm Place (Safety)
When we feel safe and connected, the ventral vagal system is activated. This system promotes calm, social bonding, and engagement. It’s responsible for regulating heart rate, facial expressions, vocal tone, and other functions that help us connect and communicate with others. This in turn helps us co-regulate our emotions with everyone around us.
How it feels:
When this system is dominant, we feel relaxed, calm, open, and connected to those around us. It’s essential for building trust and forming relationships. We feel compassionate to ourselves and others. Our cognitive brain is working at capacity, we are able to make considered decisions, freely access our creativity and manage frustrations.
Fight or flight (Danger)
We perceive danger or stress, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in to prepare the body for action, either to fight the threat or flee from it. This system speeds up the heart rate, increases adrenaline, and readies the body for a physical response.
How it feels:
The activation of this system leads to feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, or agitation. It is the body’s way of responding to perceived threats by increasing arousal and mobilising energy for survival. Cognitive brain function slows, we no longer pick up voice sounds, our facial expressions signal danger to others, we’re ready to fight or flee and without knowing it are signalling this to everyone around us. This is a state of hyper-vigilance where we are especially sensitive to everything around us and cannot think rationally.
Freeze (Threat)
We perceive the threat as overwhelming and there’s no escape, the dorsal vagal system takes over, leading to a “freeze” or shutdown response. This is the body’s way of conserving energy when in extreme distress or danger.
How it feels:
In this state, people may feel disconnected, numb, immobilised, or dissociated from their surroundings. It can manifest as feeling stuck, shut down emotionally, or fatigued.
Becoming aware of these states and how they feel to you is your starting point for moving forward in life, from here you can work out a way to find safety and make the calm place your dominant state.
We are unable to control what happens around us, but being aware of what’s going on inside gives us a chance of noticing our emotional responses and finding our way back to safety each time - this is resilience. Learning and practicing mindfulness, specifically breathing exercises, and movement will help us return to safety.
Hypnotherapy is a great way to find your calm place, and from here identify and change those unhelpful triggers (mostly unhelpful thoughts) that prevent you from feeling safe. Once you develop this resilience it’s easier to make feeling safe your dominant state and live a better life.
Life is far too short to be dominated by stressful or anxious thoughts, please do contact me for a free consultation if you would like to find a way back to safety.
Bibliography:
Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. New York. W. W. Norton & Company.
Porges, S.W. and Porges, S. (2023). Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us. New York. W. W. Norton & Company.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. London: Penguin Books.
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January can be a challenging time for many. The excitement of the festive season passes, the days are still short and dark, and financial or personal pressures often come into focus. It’s no surprise that searches for mental health support, particularly for issues like anxiety and low mood, spike during this month. If you’re feeling the weight of the “January Blues,” hypnotherapy could offer the help and relief you need. How Hypnotherapy Can Help Hypnotherapy is a safe, effective way to address the emotional and mental challenges that often surface during this time of year. By working directly with your subconscious mind, hypnotherapy helps you uncover and shift unhelpful thought patterns, empowering you to feel more in control and at ease. Here are a few ways hypnotherapy can support you in January: Reducing Stress and Anxiety: Hypnosis induces a deep state of relaxation, which can help to calm the mind and reduce overwhelming feelings of stress or anxiety. With tailored suggestions, you can build resilience and foster a sense of calm, even in the face of life’s challenges. Overcoming Negative Thought Patterns: Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness are often driven by unconscious thought patterns. Hypnotherapy can help you identify these and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs. Improving Sleep: Many people struggle with poor sleep during the darker months, which worsens mood and energy levels. Hypnotherapy can help reset your sleep patterns, guiding you to rest deeply and wake up feeling refreshed. Boosting Motivation: Whether it’s starting new habits or just getting through the day, hypnotherapy can help ignite a sense of purpose and drive by reconnecting you with your goals and inner strengths. Developing Self-Compassion: January often comes with a sense of guilt or self-criticism, especially after the indulgences of the holidays. Hypnosis can help you cultivate self-compassion, leaving you feeling more supported and hopeful as you move into the year. A Fresh Start with Hypnotherapy The new year doesn’t have to feel heavy or overwhelming. Hypnotherapy offers a practical and effective way to reset your mindset and step into the year with more ease, clarity, and confidence. If you’re struggling with the January blues, consider trying hypnotherapy as part of your self-care routine. It might just be the fresh start you’re looking for. Take the first step toward a lighter, brighter you—contact me today to book a session. You deserve to feel good, not just in January, but all year long. email grow@gavinmoneytherapy.uk
Alex (pseudonym) was 42 years old, feeling stressed, stuck in a job he didn’t enjoy, and battling unhealthy habits like smoking and overeating. His life felt out of control, but hypnotherapy helped him turn things around. Here’s Alex’s story, told in his own words through an interview. Q: What made you decide to try hypnotherapy? Alex: "I was at a breaking point. My job was so stressful, and I felt trapped, I wasn’t happy, but I didn’t know how to make a change. To cope, I was smoking, drinking and overeating, but those habits made me feel worse about myself. I wanted to quit smoking, lose weight, and feel better, but it felt like too much to tackle on my own. When I heard hypnotherapy could help with stress and habits, I thought, Why not give it a try?” Q: What were your first sessions like? Alex: "I was nervous at first because I didn’t know what to expect, but I was surprised by how relaxing it was. In the first session, we focused on reducing my stress. That was a big one for me, I didn’t realise how much tension I was carrying all the time. By the end of the session, I felt calmer than I had in years. It gave me hope that I could actually make changes." Q: How did hypnotherapy help you quit smoking? Alex: "I’d tried to quit so many times before, but it never stuck. Hypnotherapy was different because we worked on the triggers that made me reach for a cigarette, like stress or boredom. During the sessions, I started to see smoking in a completely different way. It wasn’t a 'reward' anymore, it was just something holding me back. After a few sessions, I didn’t even feel like I needed cigarettes anymore. I’ve been smoke-free ever since." Q: What about your relationship with food? Alex: "Overeating was tied to my emotions. I was eating to comfort myself, not because I was hungry. During hypnotherapy, I started to recognise those patterns and make better choices without feeling like I was depriving myself. It wasn’t about dieting, it was about feeling in control. I’ve lost over 9 kilos, and I actually enjoy eating healthier now. It’s been a game-changer." Q: How did hypnotherapy help you with your career? Alex: "This was one of the most unexpected parts of the process. I went into hypnotherapy thinking I just needed to quit smoking and lose weight, but as the stress lifted, I started thinking more clearly about what I actually wanted in life. I realised I’d been stuck in a job that didn’t make me happy for years because I was too afraid to make a change. Through hypnotherapy, I found the confidence to explore my passions, and now I’m working on starting my own creative business. It’s exciting, and for the first time, I feel like I’m moving forward." Q: What’s the biggest change you’ve noticed in yourself? Alex: "I feel free. Free from stress, free from cigarettes, free from the habits that were holding me back. I have more energy, more confidence, and I’m actually excited about the future. It’s not just about the changes I’ve made, it’s about feeling like I’m in control of my life again." Q: What would you say to someone considering hypnotherapy? Alex: "Just do it! I was skeptical at first, but it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s not a quick fix, you have to be open to the process, but it works. If you’re feeling stuck like I was, hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck and start living the life you want." Alex’s journey shows how powerful hypnotherapy can be to help you break free from unhealthy habits, reduce stress, and create lasting change. If you’re ready to take control of your life, why not take that first step today? 👉 Start your journey now with a free consultation - contact me at grow@gavinmoneytherapy.uk #Hypnotherapy #Transformation #NewYearNewYou #StressRelief #QuitSmoking #WeightLoss #CareerChange #PersonalGrowth
